


Devil May Craft!

by s4phiroth



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Aight no one asked but here is a minecraft fanfic, Gen, Minecraft, No one dies!, Sex jokes lol, Unless in game!, dante's a crackhead here, idk how tags work, nsfw. Sometimes.., vergil is just trying his best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-19 10:35:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s4phiroth/pseuds/s4phiroth
Summary: Basically?The boys playing Minecraft.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! It's my first time in awhile writing a fanfic LMAO. I apologise if this is kinna short, but I promise you. It gets better. I hope you enjoy!

Dante let out yet another grunt, making it the fifth time in the past two or so minutes. He thought to himself, "Maybe I should've asked the kid for help." He looked over at the younger man who simply shot him a smug look.

"You've been holding right click down the whole time. Try the left, idiot." Nero was snickering at this point, and the older man hushed him. "I knew that," Dante scoffed. He proceeded to click left multiple times on his mouse, aim on an Oak tree which stood before him, making Nero burst out into laughter.

"Hold it down!! God damn!" Nero said while wheezing.

"I'm trying my best here?! And I obviously knew that. The mouse just.. Wasn't working." Dante felt his cheeks heat up ever so slightly from embarrassment. Common sense apparently went out for a walk this evening. The laughter slowly subsided to a comfortable silence between the two. Dante punched his way through dozens of trees, shooting Nero peculiar questions such as, "Does his hand never tire? He's been fisting these god damn trees for ages."

After a good few minutes or so of purely collecting wood was when Nero finally decided to tell the older male that tools, such as an axe, existed in game. It took all of Dante's strength to not strangle the giggling youth, and instead to focus on the task at hand. Nero leaned over to help him with the crafting recipe.

"One wooden plank on top of the other, and you get sticks."

"Only four?" Dante asked, the tone of disbelief evident. Nero lightly chuckled.

"Two sticks down the middle, then three wooden planks in an upside down L to your left or right."

"How many axes would I need to clear a whole forest?" Dante asked, now experimenting how to craft a pickaxe and sword. Nero shook his head, giving his uncle a pat on the shoulder. "You've still got a lot of materials you could collect and craft with, y'know? This is just the start. Make what's only necessary." 

Dante pursed his lips upon hearing that, having already made 4 wooden axes and 3 wooden pickaxes. He hates this game already, but Nero reassured him that he was once this foolish, too. It didn't take him long before he found a cave, and the sun was setting in game. The younger male suggested staying in there, then explained how iron could only be mined with a stone pickaxe after realising his uncle had just mined through 2 ores, getting nothing in return.

"You should probably get coal, y'know? The stone blocks with specks of black at the corner." Nero spoke, pointing towards the far right of the screen. Dante heeded his suggestion, working his way through the coal ores and then creating torches. He surprised his nephew a little, considering how he did that without needing any instructions. It seems that common sense has returned from its walk.

"That a hunger bar? Why's it going down? All I did was walk."

"It's just.. Game mechanics." Nero replied with eyes fixated onto his phone, replying Kyrie's texts.

"Do you think that green growling dude has food on him?" The older man suddenly enquired, followed by a slight jump on the sofa. "FUCK. I take it bac- God, oh FUCK, NERO HE'S AFTER ME."

"DOUBLE TAP W. SPRINT." Nero exclaimed, putting his phone down immediately the moment he was done typing his response. And Dante sprinted, but he was still dealing damage.

"What the FUCK?!" Dante was sat on the edge of the couch now, his feet tapping incessantly on the wooden floor below. "WHAT'S THIS BONY BITCH DOING OUT HERE IN A CAVE?!" His panic caused the younger male to start laughing once more.

"NOT FUNNY DIDN'T LAUGH?! I'M ABOUT TO DIE, NERO." And it was true- he was on 4 hearts. He lost the mobs after multiple turns, and Nero's laughter finally started to die down when his uncle nudged him. Really hard.

"That was one HELL of a trip." Dante spoke after stationing his character at a corner of a dimly lit cave, relaxing back onto the couch, paying the screen no mind.

That was when he heard a hissing sound.

"FUCK."

"HOLY SHI-"

Boom.

The screen showed red with two bars, 'Respawn' and 'Title Menu'. Most importantly- the Game Over sign. Dante pursed his lips for the bazillionth time that evening, now pinching his temples as well. Nero sat beside him with mouth slightly agape, astonished at the scene that unfolded before him.

The two of them turned to face each other eventually, locking eyes and sitting in silence for a good moment.

Then they laughed.


	2. Multiplayer..?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Vergil.... uwu  
oh and. perhaps a little nsfw at the end...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit. A month??? I'm so sorry I'm. HORRIBLE. You've been given legal rights to stab me with the nearest butter knife.

The doors of Devil May Cry slammed open as Dante walked in, a whole monitor and CPU under each of his arms, a keyboard and mouse tied to the back of the monitor with a.. Holy shit? Are those the guts of a demon? Nero could not believe the sight before him, raising his phone to snap a picture of his uncle and sending it to Kyrie with the caption of 'I can't believe he's older than 40.' The older male was not fazed, however, as he swiftly placed all the items on the table. He made quick work of the demon's intestine by slicing the knot in half, flinging it out the window, just barely missing the youth's face.

"And where'd this come from?"

"A demon's apartment."

"The demon has an apartment?"   
Dante nodded and explained that some demons out there have the ability to take the form of a human, however they rarely engage in all-out attacks, which is why they devil hunters never have to deal with such issues. He also proceeded to elaborate how this specific demon's home office had a ton of game posters up on his wall.

"He had a poster of that hissing green prick."

"You mean, the creeper?"

"Aww Man~"

Nero chuckled, "That's one hell of an outdated meme. At least you get the joke now."  
The older man smiled, plugging in the necessary cables and then cleaning the blood off the equipment. Nero helped to set up the computer on his desk, chiding Dante in the process for being so irresponsible and unorganised. The older man's groan only earned him a jab in the back.

"You need an account to play, y'know?"

"Yeah. He's a dumbass for leaving his log in details on post it notes around the monitor. I've got it memorised."

"Haha.. Axel.." Nero muttered.  
Dante paid the kid no mind as he started up the computer, pulling out the crumpled post-it notes for account details. The wallpaper for the man's computer was a bad Facebook-mom-meme, making Dante snort. "You're really no better than a teen." Nero commented, though he himself was chuckling at just how awful the joke was. The longer haired male soon worked his way through the Minecraft log in page, humming a tone while waiting for it to load.

"Y'know there's multiplayer, right?" Nero spoke with eyes fixed on his own laptop screen, keying in his password already. He rolled a spare office chair beside Dante, plonked his butt down and instructed his uncle on how to open the world to the local network.

"You play with anyone else?" Dante enquired

"Not really. I tried to get Kyrie into this before, but she's just.. Too wholesome for this." This made Dante raise a brow.

"Well.. We ended up finding a mineshaft with a whole dungeon close by. She reluctantly agreed to go explore it, but she ended up getting hunted down by like what.. 12 zombies? She was panicking outta her wits. Just threw the laptop back at me." Dante let out a chuckle before Nero continued, "She didn't want to die because I had a whole set of enchanted armour and tools. I told her it was okay if I lost it because I had way more back at base, but she still refused. And well..." He trailed off, logging into his Minecraft account.

"She ended up dying anyway. She felt way too guilty to carry on so.. Now she just watches me play. Even after I told her that she could start a whole world on her own."

"She's too much of an angel to be with you."

"At least I'm the one who has got a partner. Unlike someone." Dante scoffed at the kid's response, starting up a new world and opening it to LAN so that the youth could join.   
A few giggles were exchanged when they saw the skin of the previous owner, dressed in a full proper suit with a creeper head with the username of 'c0ckd3str0yr'. Dante made a mental note to change his skin and username later on.  
The next few minutes went by with them collecting materials- himself doing the mining and Nero chopping the wood and killing for food. It was mostly quiet-

Then Dante found a village.

"HOLY SHIT!" The bearded man swore, causing Nero to jump. "They've got dangling dicks as noses?! The sounds they're making- Oh god, this one's wearing a farmer's hat." A pause followed, then he spoke again, "Guess you could call them... Dickheads."  
Upon hearing this, the younger man rolled his eyes, but chuckled.

"Why the fuck is it 4 green gems for a leather tunic? Aren't these like.. 8 leather? Cows are everywhere."

"It's just how the trading system works."

"Well they better step their game up because- WHAT THE FUCK? 32 rotten flesh for one green gem? What the fuck."

"Dante, I'm legally allowed to take your swearing rights away."

"Not now, Nero. These criticisms are worth the fucks."

The two continued to banter and roam the village as night fell. Dante was certainly not impressed by how Iron Golems do not attack creepers, and how baby zombies exist. "Praise the lord for baby skeletons weren't added instead." He commented, followed by Nero's snarky reply, "Yet."   
A comfortable atmosphere settled with him smelting ore and Dante idling in the corner of their temporary house, in reality texting and silently chuckling to himself. He swivelled his chair close and laid his head on Nero's shoulder, showing him a picture Vergil sent. Neither of them would have really took for him to be a 'pet' kinda guy, but he is. More specifically- a Cat Man, having owned many kittens in the past, and known for 'babysitting' cats from time to time, even though he is slightly more than intimidating to approach.

"Vergil says Shadow misses you, Nero." Dante was repressing a snort, knowing full well the younger man despises the cat. Well, not really. But you know.. "In addition to that," He scrolled up to show yet another image, "Dumbass decided to get a blue bird this time. Said he found it while on one of his... Adventures. And now he's taken it into his custody."

"Blue bird, huh?" Nero snorted, "So what's its name? And it better not be another snack snatching bitch or I'm gonna assume my dad just hates me."

"Bold of you to assume I'd have any sort of information on this birdaboo- I don't even know when's the next time Mr. Motivated's gonna visit."

Nero hummed in response before sighing, realising the sun has started to rise in-game.  
"We should loot the place."

Dante faked a horrified gasp, "I can't believe you're stealing from such innocent, penile-nosed creatures! Look at this one, it's got stormy clouds above its head! It knows you're stealing.."

"First of all," Nero cleared his throat and repositioned himself upright, the older man already starting to chuckle. "They're NPCs, so they'll be fine without any of these. Secondly, you hit them, which is why those grey clouds are appearing." He looked over at the monitor, and stared back at Dante, "And lastly, you stole this computer from a dead demon's lair, so I'm not sure what's worse."

"Can you not make this demon sound so god damn cool? Like really? Lair? He lived in a shit hole."

"You're just jealous because he has a nicer furnished place than you do."

Dante shrugged, "That may be true, but still."   
Now Nero shrugged and continued, "Do whatcha want, because I'm set on looting this place."

"You greedy son of a- You're takin' the chests too?!" 

"You need 8 planks to craft a chest, it's worth the steal. Plus, you can get all of its contents when you break it just like that."

"Both you and your father. Greedy little fucks."  
Nero glared daggers at Dante.

———

Time flew by and it was already 9:15pm. Nero got up to take his leave, informing Dante how he would not come in tomorrow because he promised to take Kyrie on a date which earned him a wink, and also a reminder to use protection. Nero thanked him on the way out! Oh and, also obviously earned Dante the finger on the way.

And the man was finally alone for the day.  
Order another box of pizza perhaps? Continue playing? Ah, beating the long schlong sounds even better- "Haven't done that in awhile.." He thought to himself. What if Vergil unexpectedly visits, though? That man would certainly know how to knock on a door before entering, right? 

Fuck it.

He tied his hair and undid his pants, freeing the thick appendage from its confines, and ran his finger up the protruding vein, shivering upon the contact. "It really has been awhile." He whispered, stroking himself at a more consistent pace easily with the help of the fluids that had started to leak out. It is only at times like these where he wishes he had a partner. Not only because of the sex, of course, but so he would feel a little less lonely, too. Someone to look forward coming home to.  
He tightened his grip a little more every time he stroked upwards, copious amounts of precum already making his cock glisten under the dim lighting of the shop. He threw his head back, letting out a satisfied moan at the pressure.

Then the doors of Devil May Cry slammed open.

"Sorry, I forgot my char-" Nero stopped in his tracks face red as a beetroot. Dante glared daggers at the youngster but sighed.

"What? Never seen a dick this big before? Get your charger and get out. And learn how to knock next time, will ya?"

"So damn cocky." Nero muttered

"Well, I've got a dick in my hand so-" Before he could complete his sentence, Nero had already slammed the door on his way out. "That door's gonna break some day!" He yelled.

Whatever.  
He literally had a task at hand to focus on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE THAT WAS OKAY?2!!2!3?!! I'm having a writer's block kinna, but I'm pushing out as much as I can. Finals start literally in a week ;_; 
> 
> Let me know whatcha think!! n_n<3  
my tumblr's @ignisleftnut if you ever wanna.. mcInteract... shoot some ideas... anything at all :-D  
Have a good day! Evening!! Afternoon?!!! <3


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